12.31.05

I just woke.. I don't really know what i'm feeling yet. I feel nothing.

Today is a cold day. Its pretty windy, cloudy, and wet.. and alone.. I don't feel numb. My mind and brain are still in tact, but i have no feelings. I suppose i just feel...alone.

Yesterday i played solitaire for an hour again, subconsciously. The majority of my mind was making it's way through my memory. I remembered every moment's feelings within the past two weeks or so. I remembered how things looked, tasted, smelled, sounded, and felt...everything. Strange enough, i'm trying to remember something...anything.. and nothings coming.

I suppose it's just a mixture of what today, yesterday, and tomorrow, are. That is what every point in time is, i think. "A nonspatial continuum in which events occur in apparently irreversible succession from the past through the present to the future," says Dictionary.com. Well put Dictionary.com, high five.

Someone opened my eyes to the saying "Everything happens because it's meant to happen." How to explain my thoughts, i don't know. Fate simply lies in our hands.

I write in this 'blog' for myself. Not to relive myself from anger, aggression, depression, or all of the above. I write for my latter self, and for the one and one's i love and care for. I'd like to be able to read and feel what i once thought and felt. I'd like for other's to be able to read and feel what i once felt. I would like for anything to be able to read and feel what i once felt. Text is a poor excuse, i know, but it helps me remember.. it helps me remember...