12.28.05

Sometimes i am overwhelmed with amazing moments... Just now, i awoke from a dreadful day of nothing. My mind was nowhere and i couldn't think at all. It was like i was swimming in the depths of nowhere...not breathing, or having the ability to see a thing.

Just now, though... i read something.

I saw light, and recognized a shallow spot within this 'nowhere.' Slow motion.. and i gasped for air, relieved of the long lost day, awaking to reality.


There are some things i wish i could change. Not that i can't in reality, but i simply do not have the will to. I wish i could say "Come back home. Everything is fine now..." but, it is not right to do so. It is wrong, if anything. Some things weren't meant to be altered, even if your desires speak otherwise.

If one were to purposely effect, it is their opportune to defect, in many cases. But.. sometimes one has to use their mind, and null the feelings and desires to fulfill what's best...whatever 'best' may be. Patience helps. And though, in my personal matters, it is not my purpose to 'defect,' i can still remain alive until tomorrow and pray for the best.