i kept telling myself, "July will be better," because that's when my classes are going to be over. that's when some friends get back from their trips. that's when she gets back. it's almost july, now. things are better.
i realized that my blog is non other than the occasional late night with a depressed kid who is slowly
disintegrating.

This morning, i realized it's gone. i only remember it. i don't want it anymore. i don't long for it anymore.
love.
thinking about it makes me sad. i'm glad it still makes me sad. i'm glad that i'm not bitter or angry about it. i just hope that i can get better. it's not like it is always on my mind, but i'm reminded about it a lot. i've tried my best to forget, but that didn't work and would've just been a sad way to end things anyways.
i look forward to being in love again. with someone who is right, this time. i think that once everything starts clearing up, mainly band stuff and school, i'll be a lot happier than i was before. it's like i can experience everything all over again.